Benefits of dating a nerd

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Allen and his wife Denae, have been married for over 25 years and they have been blessed with nine children. No man will be worthy of your love until he puts a ring on your finger. One couple I prime uses a shared journal kept on the living room table. More information on their ministry can be found at www. Imagine if you will, a relationship built on friendship where the two people approach each other without ulterior motives. But you still might be facing an uphill battle here.

Sometimes what you want is something a bit more low key, a more casual relationship instead of something long-term. Whatever the reason, many people are more interested in a casual relationship than they are in something committed or long-term. The problem is that they often forget that casual relationships require maintenance and effort, the same as a relationship leading towards commitment. If you want a successful casual hook-up, then you want to understand how to keep things straight forward and appealing to everybody involved. Casual Relationships Have Rules The commonly accepted definition of a casual relationship is one without expectations of monogamy or a long-term commitment. Because of the lower levels of investment, they tend to be short-lived and generally easier to walk away from than a more standard relationship. The first and most important rule is that everybody has to be on the exact same page. The clearer everybody is on where they stand, the less chance there is for confusion, hurt and resentment. Similarly, do not suggest, hint or even vaguely insinuate that you might be up for something more in hopes of getting a casual commitment now. The people who do this are pustules on the collective ass of humanity who make it harder for the good-faith horndogs of the world and who deserve the wank-storm of karma that comes their way. This is why you want to avoid romance. If you could please try to NOT make the cleaning service cry this time? Similarly, you should keep the conversation light as well. More personal intimacy tends to imply greater interest in emotional commitment. That is about the same level you want to maintain with your date. Not an inherently bad thing, but decidedly not a result you want if your goal is to keep to a no-strings relationship. Focusing on the present rather than the future helps keep things about being in the moment. This is a significant milestone in a traditional relationship — it says that you consider her presence important enough that you want to see whether she fits in with your existing social circle. But in a casual relationship, you have her and you have your friends. Bringing her into your social circle is a sign that you expect this relationship to get at least slightly more serious. You may not be ready to move in together, but it says you see her as a more established part of your life. Ideally, you want to keep your relationship strictly about you and her. You have your fun times together, but you also have entirely separate lives by design. Bringing them together runs the risk of boundaries getting blurred and expectations getting confused. And when that happens, people get hurt. Other relationship events like observing anniversaries, calling her your girlfriend or her calling you her boyfriend , giving her space at your home for her things and the like should similarly be avoided. Limit Exposure Another key part to keeping things casual and avoiding greater emotional investment on either part is to not see each other more than once a week. The more you are exposed to something — food, music, television shows… damn near everything, really — the more you come to like it. This also includes people. In fact, studies have found that repeated exposure is an intensifier in relationships; the more times you see somebody, the more you reinforce the dominant emotional association you feel with that person. Even people in — who presumably are friends even without the sexual side of their relationship — only see each other occasionally. You also should consider limiting communication outside of seeing each other in person as well. Respect The Boundaries One of the most important parts of making a casual relationship work is. Not only does this help weed out the users and manipulators, it also helps keep the lines of acceptable behavior clear. It reduces the chance of sending mixed messages — especially by accident — and thus reducing the potential for heartbreak and hurt feelings. Even when I made it abundantly clear to the women I was dating that I was only interested in a casual thing, there would always be one or two who would agree and then start pushing for a relationship. Men will do this all the time as well — they enter into a no-strings-attached affair with the intention of trying to wear the woman down until she agrees to a committed relationship. Casual relationships are supposed to be light, fun affairs, not a cause for bitterness and and rancor. If she volunteers, great. Part of the point of a casual relationship is the lack of commitment and that goes both ways. Sometimes the best hedge against jealousy is pointed ignorance. Strong boundaries and clear communication make for strong relationships — even casual ones. And a strong relationship can maintain its core affection even through the rough times. In fact, a casual sexual relationship can end up being the basis for an incredible and intimate friendship. But whether you end up as friends or something more, careful relationship maintenance can keep things light, happy and enjoyable for everybody.

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